After we had our first child, I often stated “Where is the operations manual??!!” I was looking for a step by step procedures manual with details on how to create a sweet, successful human from diapers to adulthood. Raising kids is not for the faint of heart. Parenting is hard. Especially, when raising unique human beings with different personalities, strengths, weaknesses, and temperaments. Finding ways to win at parenting became my husband and my primary goal. We often look to the end to help us at the beginning and along the way. What kind of people do we want our kids to be as adults? How do we want them to respond to adversity? How do we want them to treat others? Contribute to society? With the end in sight, it became clear that we couldn’t parent for all of the forseen and unforseen details. That if we could help develop and nurture their hearts- the house of their souls- no matter the circumstances, parenting would be a win. Affirming our kid’s identity in Christ became the cornerstone to our parenting. If they are confident in who they are and whose they are, they will be able to stand on a firm foundation, not being swayed by the storms that may surround them during different seasons of life. If we can get this right, all of the details will work themselves out.
When my oldest was a toddler we had an opportunity to take a parenting class at church with Don and Suzanne Manning. Authors of the book “Crazy Cool Family” and hosts to the “Crazy Cool Family” podcast. In that class, Suzanne mentioned the importance of teaching your kids what their names meant. She encouraged us to speak those words of life and purpose over our kids. Although my husband, Justin, and I were very intentional about choosing our children’s names, we had not clearly identified what they meant and how that related to who they are as unique individuals. That parenting class inspired me to be more intentional about speaking truths about my kids unique identities over them.
After defining what our kid’s names meant, I decided to create an identity statement for each child. Justin and I identified scriptures and words that we felt described them as individuals. We chose life giving, encouraging words. We chose words that would encourage them where we saw vulnerabilities.
Because these have been hanging in my house for years I have had the opportunity to visit with many friends about them. A common question I receive is “Are all these words things you see in your child? Or are some of them things you hope to see in them?” Most of the words and scriptures are direct descriptions of how we feel God uniquely wired them. But, there are also a few words or verses that we chose to guide or protect them from vulnerabilities we see as their parents. Things we are praying over them and want God to heal, grow, or develop in them. So when asked, “What if they are not exhibiting that trait?” My confident answer is that using words to encourage what you see as potential strengths or words that will help them overcome potential pitfalls are not lies. They are words of encouragement to redirect your child to excel in areas of opportunity. In life, the world will speak lies over you until you start to believe them. “She’s not good enough. Pretty Enough. Smart enough.” The same is true with truth. “She was perfectly created in God’s image. She has access to Heavenly wisdom and strength. She has a unique calling and purpose that can only be fulfilled by her.” Speaking positivly over your child will only encourage them to walk in confidence in who they were created to be. It will also help them to spot the lies more easily when they hear them because they do not match up with a core belief they know about themselves.
Here is an example of the identity statements I created for my kiddos. This is a wonderful baby gift to give, but can be even more impactful as the child grows and you see their personalties take shape. I loved doing this when they were toddler age, because I felt like I had a really clear idea of some of the unique characteristics God gave each of them. It allowed Justin and me to pray over the desires, hopes, and dreams we saw in each child. God lead me to specific scriptures and words to speak over each child. My kids are much older now and I do not have a desire to re-work their identity statements. You could totally update them by season to focus on what God is working on in their lives at that time. But, these statements have been timeless for us. Consistent words of truth to help anchor their hearts in times of struggle, doubt, or change. Often, you will find me standing behind my kiddo with my hands on their shoulders facing their identity statement washing them with truth before bed or on days where our footing seems unsteady.
I designed each identity statement with gold foiled words and printed them on sturdy cardstock. Each are framed and hung with a picture of each child underneath them. The pictures I chose capture their personalities. It has been so fun to see how the kids light up when they pass them. Or to see one hover a minute and read over words chosen just for them. They are fixtures in our home. They will never question who they are or who they were created to be. It has encouraged them to know they are seen as unique individuals with a great purpose in life. That God created them uniquely for our family. As my kids have entered the teenage years, they have been impacted even more with what the world has to say about them. Social media, peers at school, and the world in general often seek to discourage and destroy their hearts. Some days they are hanging their heads in discouragement from a tough day out in the world. I speak these words of truth over them. Even on days where they can’t muster the strength to look up, I know they are hearing the truth. And that truth will replace whatever lies were fed to them that day. I know that these seeds of truth are being firmly planted in their hearts and will help to push out the lies of this world for years to come.
Would you like to make an identity statement for your kids? For a graduation gift for a friend? For a baby gift for your God child? It is really simple. Click for a STEP BY STEP TUTORIAL.
*Be sure to check out Don and Suzanne Manning’s Podcast, “Crazy Cool Family” on iTunes. There are so many great episodes! Be sure to take a listen to Episode 25- listen to the end for some great advice on how to speak life over your kids as it relates to their identity.
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I'm a Southern girl who loves a good party, a house full of laughter, and a porch swing full of friends and family. I blog about how to host in a way that matters. Curious what I mean by that? CLICK HERE TO LEARN MORE AND READ MY STORY.
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